Friday, August 15, 2014

How Not To Compare Yourself To Others

We are all different and unique in our ways, but it happens that we naturally like comparing ourselves to other people. While some comparisons may actually help us to improve our lives, other forms of comparisons may work to demoralize us. 

Tower Bridge, London

Sometimes, I want to be really good at something in a short period of time, while I don't have enough background, talent, energy or time to put in.  A week ago, I put really hard on myself for not doing something as great as others, which was very unfair to myself.

The White House, Washington DC


Negative self-image to yourselves is very unhealthy.  You will always meet someone who is younger, smarter, prettier or richer, and the list goes on. So it is just better to stop comparing yourself to others. When you look at your five fingers of your hand, you will notice that there is a clear distinction in their sizes. They are all your fingers and carry equal importance but are of different sizes.


For instance, I have knowledge and experience in traveling and destinations that many people might not be knowledgeable about, but this doesn’t mean that I am any better or lesser than people gifted in other fields. 

So how do you stop comparing yourself to others? I thought about it for a few days.  To answer this question, I came up with 4 ways to stop comparing myself to others.


1.  Put Yourself First
The moment you put yourself first, you won’t have time comparing yourself to others.  Love yourself, take care of yourself and think positive about yourself.  Nobody wants to be around negative person, even if they are not better.
 "It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.  What matters is you can look in the mirror, and love who you see".  -B. Dave Walters

2.  Let Go off Your Frustrations
Frustrations of having not achieved something that somebody else did may make you compare yourself to the person. Let it go by working out in the gym, taking a yoga class, and/or running a mile or two.  That helps me lots.
"Letting go has nothing to do with "quitting."  Ask yourself "Am I sticking it out or am I staying stuck?"  You know yourself best.  -Alex Elle

Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
3.  Do Not Force Change
Sometimes things are not going exactly as planned.  If you feel that you have tried doing something and it is not coming to your desired perfection, you should not force change but rather accept that it is your personal best for the moment.  
"You can have it all.  You just can't have it all at once".  -Oprah Winfrey

4.  Set Realistic Goals
Finally, it is important to set realistic goals that can be achieved. Work on it on your own pace.  This will give you self-satisfaction.
"Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach".  -Anthony Robbins

23 comments:

  1. Bridget C.8/19/2014

    Aww, sweetie I don't know what happened but your a sweet positive and confident person I know. Glad you overcame that anxieties. Keep up with great work. 1st time visiting ur blog. I love it!!

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    1. (: Thanks sis! It's all good. Sometimes you have to allow yourself the luxury of failing.

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  2. Ugh, sometimes it is not possible to be good because people don't let you. They want it their way ( an old way) and there is nothing that you can do about it.

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    1. Yeah, but when you put yourself on the first place everyone is making an issue out of it, because you are being selfish. Achieving with that inside of your mind is really hard.

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    2. I know It is easier said than done, but that's something that you can take time and practice.

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    3. @Bella, put yourself first does sounds selfish, but you have to love yourself first, then others will do the same. Everyone experiences moments and downtime and that is normal. The idea is to keep the overall balance on the positive side.

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    4. Julia//// It is not possible with the people who are impossible and selfish themselves. Why else would they ask to abandon your dreams and follow their own. I think that many people claim the right to be a person the last to say, but not many deserve that right.
      Take care from the selfish people.

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  3. Anonymous8/23/2014

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  4. Great post. To be honest, it is easy to compare yourself to others who are having the life that you wish you had. I will be brutally honest. When I was being my mother's caregiver, I compared my life which felt like I was being very confined to my friends who were traveling and basically having a life. Sometimes life will put you in circumstances that are less than ideal, and the best way is to find a way to accept it, and to find methods where you can find some peace. Things do end up coming to an end anyway.

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    1. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  5. I think that a human being can only be at the balance with one self, not with other people. Every one is trying to find a proper way to make other's to comply to their own ideas or goals, and sometimes it doesn't need to be anything material.
    People are more in the collision with one another about their ideas and ideals than with the material possessions, doe that is not quite uncommon too.

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    1. I don't care too much about material. It makes more sense to me to spend money on visiting new places than buying a designer hang bag.

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  6. Comparing yourself to others is one sure way to make you depressed and miserable. Thanks for bringing this out.

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    1. Agreed. Enjoy life! You only live once. Life is full of misery if you only think about negativity.

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  7. Kyaw Swar9/03/2014

    some nice quotes , loved it :)

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  8. comparing always help in self analysis and improving yourself :)

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  9. you are right,, it is very negative to compare yourself with others. it only makes you feel lesser than others. I really LOVE how you reason. it is best if we just lived out lives as if there is no competition, right?

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    1. I agree with you. We all have negative thoughts.
      You must imagine yourself as someone greater instead of comparing yourself to others.
      (: I truly appreciate your feedback.

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  10. Carmen2/15/2015

    This is one of my greatest challenges in life. My twin sister looks like me but for some reason is better, smarter, prettier. Or, at least that's how I always saw her. It always felt like my mom doted on her more and paid more attention, though I'm sure that was just my imagination and low confidence. I don't know why I've always felt inferior to this other (amazing) person who is my duplicate. Maybe I see how special she is and feel like I could never live up to that. She is always encouraging me. I hope that I can learn to love myself and be happy in my own skin the way you talk about it. Thank you so much for your positive encouragement.

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